Everything I write seems offensive to Muslims

At least potentially, to some Muslims. I guess it's just a new form of writer's block! I'm sure I'll get past it.

Thank God I'm on line again

What are you to do if you have bad erection? Especially in the forthcoming Saint Valentines Day???
Don t worry, it is not the last of pea-time...
The most simple way is to visit our site, order the medication and that is all you are to do!
Do not kill the clock!

(Frankly, I'm not sure what that last line means. )
(I'll give this e-mail to my boss so she can see how the use of multiple question marks should be reserved for the most spectacular and intense queries. "What time is the meeting????" by comparison look ridiculous. Save it for the big stuff. The medically-assisted big stuff, but still.)

"We Can't"

Usually means "we won't," when you're dealing with a monopoly business like a city government or - in this case - a local cable company refusing to give you back your old modem (the one that works) that they commanded you to turn in because they're phasing it out, see, so they "can't" give it back to you. You must use this new modem (the one that doesn't work). You must forget your old modem (which works).

But there it is. I can see it. Give it to me. No - "we can't."

The company in question is Time-Warner, by the way. I in turn command all my reader(s) to cease doing business with Time-Warner.

This is being written at the library.

Ick

The Strib's main editorial today: a group of people choosing the skin-saving path on the cartoons for a host of rational reasons somehow also feeling the need - which they are unable to suppress - to call the European editors "stupid."

The journalists printing the cartoons to make a statement about standing up to murderous violence and threats. The editors needing protection, in a situation where lives will be lost (it's a fairly safe bet): they're all racist and stupid. "Ignorant," too - "equally ignorant" as the shrieking crowds driven mad by cartoons, spurred on by leaders who seem from my appallingly ignorant perspective to be somewhat evil.

Very attractive, guys. And a classic of Wormtongue-ism. (Read the whole thing.)

Update: This isn't about press freedom.

The words of EU Justice and Security Minister Franco Frattini in an interview with the DailyTelegraph (via the Corner):

"The press will give the Muslim world the message: We are aware of the consequences of exercising the right of free expression," he told the newspaper. "We can and we are ready to self-regulate that right."

That's not a criticism of the proposal by an outraged and amazed person, as I assumed when I read it out of context at the Corner. Nope. That's a straightforward description of the plan by a bureaucrat behind it.

Frattini, a former Italian foreign minister, said millions of Muslims in Europe felt "humiliated" by the cartoons.

Can't have that. Must not allow suggestions of a connection between Islam and terror. That may humiliate Muslims. And you are so stupid if you think press freedom comes into play here.

This is a test.

What does it look like to have no headline?

I'll post something at some point and in the meantime...

...the Star-Trib today has a guest commentary from a "freelance writer from Brooklyn Park" named Fedwa Wazwaz. I may not be up to an entire critique; I was however struck by this little throwaway:

"Islamic teachings forbid the depiction of any prophet (including Biblical prophets) as a measure against idolatry and racism -- even positive portrayals. "

Hm.

It's that use of word "forbid," combined with how totally whacked-out seriously many Muslims seem to take the word "forbid" that has me going "hm. " And wondering what a local newspaper may do, for example, when a Muslim reader or employee says, you know, showing images of Christ really, really offends my sensibilities.

Today's CNN poll

..is easily the most boring one I have ever seen: “Has your computer ever been affected by a worm or virus?” - “Yes, severely.” Yes, but it wasn’t too bad.” “No.” With the answers distributed like you might think.

Why in God’s name am I supposed to care about this? I don’t work for an anti-virus company’s market research division. Do I? It’s exactly as interesting as “Have you ever had an alternator go out on you”” or “Have you ever had shower grout that became stained sooner than it should have” or “How frequently does your kitchen light fixture become littered with dead moths?” In fact that last one is more interesting to me. Does this happen to other people? Do they clean them out? Or if I asked them if their light fixtures ever became filled with dead moths would they say yes, but it wasn’t too bad? (That’s my attitude.)

A message I just sent the reader rep at the Strib

"Any talk down there about being the first US paper to join and support its European colleagues on the cartoon issue? I mean is anyone arguing it as a thing to consider?"

I wonder if it's a talk occurring at any paper stateside, in fact. They talk a lot about courage in these editorial offices: the courage to stand up to this and that. So I'm betting there may even be a race developing, to be the first one to be so courageous.

Is there a chance there is some slight philosophical movement or awakening?

(Note: An aggressive friend has pointed out a typo pleasing to him. I'm leaving it. I like it.)

Jonah Goldberg visits Madison (via Ann A.) and maybe I’m being optimistic and I wasn’t there. But I sense from this kind of grudging respectful coverage (here and other cases) there’s a chance that "willingness to listen to conservatives" could become a new outré. It seems like it would offer a natural cool to stake a clam to Ann Coulter, say.

It’s the left’s Achilles Heel: in the contexts in which it rules, it is the Dogma. The generalized (as in not universal, but frequent and subtly omnipresent) insistence that there is NOTHING to be found in the anti-Dogma is crushingly silly, almost by definition, and in fact the very concept of pure correctness existing only on one side is antithetical to what they say they stand for.

So they’re teetering whether they know it or not. And this is something that goes beyond elections and such.

The most closed and defended of them are still beyond approach, of course. The point is to scrape away at the margins. Then, one day, maybe, even the hardest of the hard-core, the Kos Kids of All Ages, the Ritualized Condemners all over, will be hit by a blazing sunbeam emerging from behind clouds like a scene out of Bonanza and cry: "Forgive us oh Lord, we are acting like complete idiots!"

Hint: It relates to Ann Coulter and items some might find it rewarding to affix to her an unorthodox manner.

"Mr. Boehner... paging Mr. Boehner...."

(Haven't yet seen a handy phonetic pronunciation guide in this specific case, is the point.)

I suppose they call him "Congressman Boehner" though. The Honorable Mr. Boehner? That's good. Could do a movie - "Mr. Boehner Goes to Washington." That'd work. "Let us all rise to applaud the fine work of Mr. Boehner." That would be toward the end of course.

Update: At New Repubic online today: "Boehner: Disaster for Dems?"

Update 2: John Boehner is the new House majority leader in case you're a normal person and don't know. "John 'Dick' Boehner" is the only name-hint I've seen, which make no sense at all.)

I met a gin-soaked bar room queen in Memphis

That’s a strong first line. Heard it this morning.

I was in a band once and my pal the lead singer would sing it. Believe me, I was more than glad to stand safely in back of him playing my trademark stinging lead riffs. Because had I been required to sing that I'd met a gin-soaked bar room queen in Memphis, well, it wouldn’t have been as convincing. No you didn’t, would be the reaction. You may have met a gin-soaked sophomore Feminist Studies major at O’Gara’s, but you would not have tried to take her upstairs for a ride. Whether you wanted to or not would be immaterial. It would not have happened. Correct? So what are you singing about, actually? Shouldn't you be singing, "I wish I was the kind of guy who could just once meet a gin-soaked bar room queen in Memphis? Or at least be able to pretend convincingly it had happened?"

Steve, on the other hand: here’s a guy who has successfully met gin-soaked bar room queens – definitely at O’Gara’s, probably in Memphis and all points in between.

I’ve watched it. Amazing. The way he would shiver his way out the January door, slipping and sliding the six blocks down Snelling Avenue toward the dorm, gin-soaked prize in tow, and I'm very confident there was some "upstairs" action (he lived on the 4th floor) at least fully intended.

It's the attempt that matters. "Tried" to take her upstairs for a ride. That's the boast and it's worthy. I would argue.

Here's how I'm spending my day

“Homophobia, ableism, sexism and oppression of women undergird our society.”

I didn't write that. It's from some guidelines for a foundation. It states reality well, doesn't it? Yet I note with sadness that "ableism" is still flagged by Microsoft's spell-check. When will we have Justice, oh Lord.